Complaint by Numbers

DIY Wedding Advice | July 7, 2008

Wedding? Why yes, I am engaged! This is a fairly new (within the last few weeks) occurrence, and I can’t pretend I’ve been one of those brides who’s obsessed about plans. All I’ve thought about so far is how much I can do myself in order to save money. I’ve never really had the “dream wedding” planned out, so it’s pretty much coming down to budget.

Now, my mother is insisting on giving a chunk of cash (this thing is going to cost under $10,000, but still she insists on helping), but with the caveat that she gets to veto every decision I try to make. Apparently, one of those decisions is whether or not I’m taking her money, so she basically has taken control of my wedding. I’m used to this behavior. 

My point here is that I’d love to be able to do as much of the food myself. My fiancé and I don’t want an actual, formal sit-down meal, but instead would prefer an hors d’oeuvre buffet. We’re not really fans of large groups of people, and feel that a sit-down meal is awkward and forced. My mother says that we, “have to feed people if they come to a wedding,” and has decided that this is an unacceptable way of feeding people. Basically, my task is to prove to her that this is a viable, and socially acceptable method of putting food into people’s bodies, so as to convince her that no one will judge the event for being tacky or cheap. I’m sure that’s all she’s worried about. I should tell her I imported white truffles and will be sprinkling that over the fois gras, as well as gold leafing the cake. 

So, my question is more or less, would this sort of hors d’oeuvre buffet be plausible? Has anyone been to a similar wedding? How did it turn out?



  1. Congratulations on your engagement! Excitement is definitely in the air and this will cause a lot of people close to you to behave….emotionally.
    I went through the same thing. The key is just stay calm, remember its YOUR day, you can do it anyway you like. (Everyone has to bow down to you lol)
    So to answer your question, yes I have been to an hors d’oeuvres only stand up reception. It was different, but the hors d’oeuvres were amazing…coconut shrimp, kebabs, spinach dips etc. I wasn’t too crazy about the stand up part, because I had killer heels, other than that it was great.
    P.S. For inspiration visit, amazzzzing site.

    Comment by Clarice — July 7, 2008 @ 11:17 am

  2. Thanks so much for the advice!

    Hmm, I think I’ll go with seating, then. Because I already know my bridesmaids are going to have killer heels (they both love them!) and I’ll probably have heels, too. Seating seems to make the most sense.

    Comment by Elizabeth — July 8, 2008 @ 9:23 am

  3. I went to a reception where there was a buffet of continuously replenished yummy gourmet finger foods and it was a huge hit. People nibbled all night and no one went home hungry. I thought it was a really nice contrast between upscale gourmet and the ease and fun of eating with your hands (small plates were available, but people tended to grab and go). It was great to grab a taste and then get back to dancing!

    Comment by Sarah — July 20, 2008 @ 8:56 pm

  4. Also wanted to add that the overall ceremony and reception was one of informality but at the same time very elegant and… I don’t want to say “rich” like money-rich, but it was informal and relaxed without being sparse.
    So what I’m saying is I wouldn’t do this with an extremely formal traditional ceremony and location.

    Comment by Sarah — July 20, 2008 @ 9:00 pm

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